I am not afraid to admit that at 38 summers I am still single, but with something to show for it -with that I mean I have a job that pays the bills, and also allows me to indulge on hobbies such as theatre, films, and gourmet restaurants whenever I feel like it. Today, I just read this interesting article from The Times about a life swap between a mother and a bachelorette and the result seems pretty interesting not to discuss here.
I didn’t set out to stay single. I started dating at the age of 21, I have only been in two long term relationships and had also planned to marry, it’s just that things happened, and things didn’t work out. I am still open to the possibility of meeting people but it’s no longer on the top of my agenda, not that it was before. Reading this article though, especially when Kate summarized how she felt, I’ve done stuff in one week that Amber could only dream of achieving in a year. But, ultimately, her life is something else — it is something. I have lots of friends and family, but nobody who actually needs me. Amber has a real purpose. I’m ambitious and amused. There’s a difference. Motherhood is incredible. When I get back, my flat feels quiet and lonely. So I take a nap. This made me think whether my life, because it’s just mine and mine alone amounts to nothing. Because I have no husband to fuss over, and no kids to love and to teach, my existence all adds up to nothing.
Well, I will not lie and admit that I wish I also have a family of my own, with a good husband and kids that dote on me. I am actually a big hit with children so it would be nice to have my own, but then, maybe I am not cut out for this kind of life and it doesn’t help that some of my well meaning friends feel that I will be very hard to keep and maintain! My friend Tania who’s now in her 70′s told me this when I kept her company for several nights. She said I may have a difficulty finding that elusive Mr. Right especially if he has to keep up with what I am up to, my hobbies and passions, the way my mind works and the way I am, that is, independent. I suppose when you reach an age where you can take care of yourself this can prove to be very intimidating to some.
Going back to the article, I will not undermine the statement that motherhood is great because I believe it is. I have friends who are struggling to do this and I am really proud that despite their hardships, they do say it is a rewarding life. But this should not mean that a single girls life without the added responsibilities is less rewarding. There has never been a better time for single women to be able to do what they want that are as fulfilling and satisfying. There are places to see, or things to do that may just be a dream for married women as they either don’t have the time to do so or lack the resources. Then there is the independence of being able to decide what is best for you without having to debate who is right or not, if its a wrong or right decision, you are the only one accountable.
So yes, my flat is small, with a fridge and cupboard that is not fully stocked, and most of the time I order take away, and keep late nights, but then I am single and I will continue having one helluva time until the day I stop becoming one, should that day ever come.